Boyz to Men said it best, "It's so hard to say good-bye". It's not often that divorce actually satisfies both parties. In some cases one of those individuals still have deep feelings for their soon to be ex-spouse. Although we did not make it down the isle, I have experienced it. As I stated in the first blog, I don't regret the things that happened, but I can't lie, I sometimes miss my ex and it's been 3 years. I recently found out that he's engaged. I begin to ask myself, have I been waiting on him? Is that why no one else seemed to be good enough? Was I comparing them to him? That wasn't fair, if I was. If that's the case, it's definitely time for me to let go.
Some people remain married for the sake of their children, financial reasons, and (it's sad to say) even because they feel they are too old to "do the dating thing" and meet someone else. But when all is said, do they both want freedom from each other? I have two very close friends enduring this particular situation. They don't know why they've been married for so long, and are initiating a divorce. It's no doubt that she still loves him very much, but it seems that he doesn't treat her the same anymore. She actually has admitted to loosing some of her self-identity while being in this marriage. She too has been dealing with "saying good-bye".
When saying good-bye (divorcing), you're not only diminishing a marriage, but a relationship that you've established with someone whether it was long term or short, and everything else that was considered normal in your life. Both parties' families will have to adjust. So, saying good-bye does not only affect two people, but everyone else as well. It can be hard to say "good-bye".
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Sadly, bad things have to end. Personally, I feel that people find themselves in whirlwind relationships before they ever discover whom they really are. A large majority of relationships begin on the physical as oppose to giving the mental any recognition. A lot of love lives are built on the superficial aspect that relies heavily on the physical and materialistic components of a person. The question becomes one that asks have you fully invested in defining who you are going to be and when you have become that that you don’t settle for less. I see a lot of people in particularly young women disregard a host of red flags men send out for the sake of being wanted. If you are going to claim your role as and Independent Woman, then don’t abdicate it for an infatuation nightmare. The person you pick should give maximum effort toward real life goals. The person you pick should inspire you to be your best each day you perch your eyes open. Note, when you have defined whom you are and where you are trying to get in life, you can’t afford to carry dead weight to the finish line. If you can get where you are going in good standings on your own, then what someone else adds to your life is a [bonus].
I have to agree with you Big Will, I have experienced relationships in the past that was primary materialistic and physical; but in the long run those relationships were stumbling blocks for me until I meet someone who showed me the opposite. This man did not cater to me buy giving me his money and showing me with gifts, what he did give me was a chance to get to know me.I must say it was hard that he was not a sugar daddy.He helped me to become a stronger woman and I can really appreciate him for that. We have now been dating for three years and he encourages me all the time to press toward my goals. I must say he is my BONUS because he decided to invest in my education.
Divorce is hard. A while back my husband and I faced some very hard times. He decided he wanted to be young and free to do things like his friends. The night after we signed the papers he called crying wanting to fix it because he finally realized what he was losing. Ever since our relationship has been the close loving one we started with. Our relationship was founded on love but then material things came between us. I think that is what hurts lots of young couples. My husband's friends are all single. He sees them getting to spend their own paychecks on what they want...big boy toys! yet he was having to give his money up for bills and supporting a family. I think that concept is harder for guys than it is girls. We don't have the pressure from our friends to be single and free like some guys face. It's that stigma of "marriage", they are tied down and told what to do. At least thats how my husbands friends made him feel. I don't really think they are "friends' but that is just somewhere we differ.
When reading this blog entry, Tay, I started thinking of a Paul Simon song of the seventies (before you were born) called "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover". I agree with the song which suggest there is not always a good way to end a relationship and you might need to just put it behind you and move on. Of course, if there are children involved that's a whole different situation as your focus has to be on maintaining an effective co-parenting style with the other person.
Post a Comment