This is a blog that was started last year, per request for a certain time period. However, I stopped blogging as that time ended. The wonders of relationships has peeked my interest once more, and now I'm curious as to your opinions on the subject matter.
I believe people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Relationships are seasonal whether they're friendships, sexual encounters, or love (agape-Christ like or "unselfish love of one person for another without sexual implications; brotherly love"). I use the term seasonal because seasons change and all relationships change at some point, whether positively or negatively. My question is, how do you welcome love into your life… If it is a part of your life, how do you keep it “fresh” as it was in the beginning…
Sunday, July 19, 2009
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8 comments:
well i think that people come into your life for a reason including you .i havent figured it out yet but you did .well love is a crazy thing any way.relationships are nice when you have an understanding of the relationship that you have obtained with that person,wether it's sexual or ect...
you welcome people into your life,and to keep it fresh you shouldn't be affaird of taking chances of any sort !
How do you welcome love in your life? Lets take this approach, do a self assessment first. Check your motives, they have to be routed in love; remember God is watching you. Ask yourself why do I want it, why do I need it. If there are other issues that are triggering this desire, check your other issues. They could include peer pressure, lonliness, previous relationships, harships, failures and experiences. Get in touch with yourself if you're not already. Once you know where you stand then take a second step. Ask God the question, am I ready for love? I think I am, but God what do you think? If he doesn't give you the green light, just be still and He will show you when its the right time. If He does give you the green light, ask Him what's next or who's next, He will lead you. Practical advice: Make sure you are loving yourself and that it is on display. What's inside should be shown on the outside, hopefully its all positively. Ask others that you know what do they see in you. Welcoming love in your life starts with you have a welcome mat but don't be a door mat.
If love is a part of your life, how do you keep it "fresh" as it was in the beginning? First thing, pray. Ask the Lord, what can I do to keep this relationships fresh? What can I do to satisfy the other person? He will guide you. Second, be obedient to what the Lord says. Open yourself up to new things and doing things with the person that you may not want to do. That shows you are a "team player" and flexible and that you care about the things that they like. But never compromise if it will lead to sin or separation from God regarding His plan for your life. Focus on what you can do and do them. If the other person is not receptive or dislikes what you do, ask them what can you do to make things better. God wants us to depend on Him in every area of life, especially relationships. He is all about people and is aware of how we treat each other.
Thank you both for your comments. You both made wonderful points, to my awareness: “understanding the relationship” and “knowing and loving yourself first”.
@ Anthony: I suppose it would make sense to know the “type” of relationship you have with an individual. I don’t think I’d ever thought of it that way. Thanks. :-) We, as human beings, perceive things differently. I believe the only way to grow and nourish a relationship, or discontinue it, is to know the stance of it-short term or long term. Does that make sense?
@Jds3: Self assessing is very important. I think loneliness is the key factor to relationships’ failure. Often times people marry the wrong person because of it. There are other contributing factors to the failure of relationships (love), which you stated as well, including financial stability and security (hardships) in some cases. Waiting on the Lord is always better!
If an individual is unsure of how to love them first, and attempts to love someone else, does it make them susceptible to being a door mat? Is it possible to love someone else, before you learn to love yourself?
I think it does make you susceptible because we meet people from different walks of life, even if they are Christians. We all seem to struggle in the area of relationships so much that some tend to get what they can out of them or use the person, then leave. If we meet someone who doesn't know how to love then that's trouble as well. So it is important that we educate each other on what love really means, so we ask the questions. What does love mean to you? What do you think about love? And any other related questions. I have been a doormat and of course it doesn't feel good, but when it was over they realized what love was really about and I pray that they keep that revelation. At times, it can be their fault, yours or both so communication is the key.
It is possible to love someone else before you love yourself, but it can be fruitful on one hand and treacherous on the other. Loving yourself is learned behavior and its for adults, since its based of a level of experience. Loving yourself is essentially treating yourself the way you want to be treated. Not allowing people to run over you and doing the things in life you like to do to the best of your present situation with out spiritual compromise. Perfecting balance in your life with God's help on an ongoing basis that goes along with loving yourself. You can love someone the way they want and need to be loved and the other person can do the same and in the process you learn how to love yourself by watching them for your example. But what if you do that and the other person doesn't return the favour, you haven't learned to love yourself because you haven't seen an example. If a person treats you the way you want and need to be treated, it will mirror to you how to love yourself.
well I am ready for love but apparhently God does not want me to have this...just my honest opinion in my lifetime I have had only 1 relationship or what I thought was a relationship...and I am 28 years old?!?
@jds3 what if you ask and God never answers? What then? Could it be people can not love themselves because they have no one to love them?
I currently find myself in this situation...I feel as if I will never have "LOVE" sometimes that makes me happy ( in a very selfish way) but most of the time it makes me sad...On the brighter side I do have a lot of nice things to make me happy!
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