Unplanned pregnancy can happen to anyone including teenagers, young adults, middle age adults, and yes, even during late adulthood. The BIG question is, what happens next. Do you marry this person because you are about to have a child together, even if you don't love them?
Not to discuss politics or anything, but lets look at 17-year-old Bristol Palin and 18-year-old Levi Johnston for example. The heat is on for them and they are the center of attention. One false move and things can go crazy. Are they really marrying for love or is it because she is pregnant, and the world is watching? Will they be divorced by age 25? Do other people think like that: "Oh my God! I'm 27, pregnant and not married! He just HAVE to marry me. What will people think?"
Personally, I don't believe any one should be forced to do anything, man or woman. Marriage because of pregnancy may have been wonderful during the 50s, 60s, and 70s, but times have and are changing. People's morals and values are different now. Not all young adults are family oriented. So, you marry this person because you're having a child together, but truth be told, you never saw yourself being with this person long term anyway and now you're stuck in a relationship with this person for at least 18 years. Is that how that works? OR, could you compromise on how you're going to raise this child as a team and later decide if you want to spend the rest of your lives together.
My belief is to not worry what others think. I know sometimes that's easier said than done, but it's your life and if you believe in this, you will only have to answer to one-and that's God!
Though it's more than a year old now, check out this guy's dilemma at http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-39334.0.html.
P.S.: No, I'm not pregnant!
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6 comments:
In my opinion I think it is wrong to marry just because you are pregnant. It is really ashamed that Bristol and Levi lives are being dictated by their parents it like an arranged marriage by pregnancy. I truely agree with you that back in 50's thru the 70's that is what they did then. My question is how does this effects them long term would they make this marriage work for love, for better or for worst, or will their lives become destroyed by society. I was a teenage mother and the thought never occured at that particular time but later in the years it did and never happen. "Thank God!"
You have to wonder what a person's motives are sometimes. I mean, everyone has heard of or known a girl who got pregnant in order to trap a guy in a relationship. I'm sure thats not what happens all the time, but I have to wonder about what goes through a person's mind when they get pregnant by someone they aren't married to, or worse by someone they aren't even in a committed relationship with. On the other hand, for couples who it happens to by accident, what goes through their minds about the future of their relationship. Some would think that it is the "right thing" to get married and stick together for the child. But, is it really a good idea to stay in a relationship with someone for a reason other than your own feelings for them? It paints a picture for me of late night arguments in front of the children and lengthy hateful divorces.
I have to agree that getting married because you are pregnant is not a good idea. My husband and I were 19 years old and unmarried when I got pregnant. He propsed to me about threes months before our daughter was born. Before I said yes I asked him if was marrying me because of the baby and he said no, otherwise I would not have accepted. I loved him more than anything but I needed to know that he loved me and not because of our baby. My mother got pregnant twice outside of marriage. The first time she married the guy and she was miserable for 13 years. The second time she did not marry him and she is still unhappy but not because she is stuck to somone she doesn't really love.
I am so glad you added a PS to your blog. But, next time, MAKE IT BIGGER AND PUT IT AT THE TOP!
It'd obviously be a joyful occasion if you were - just don't scare us like that!;)
As wonderful as marriage can be, it puts alot more stress on the relationship when a baby enters the picture. I wouldn't encourage people to get married just because they're pregnant. In fact, I did it, because I thought I had to. It wasn't even the baby's father (YES, He knew what he was getting into when he married me!)But that was the most miserable 9 months of my life... half that time we didn't live together and when we did, he had his own room! I guess he was an alright guy, afterall, he surely didn't have to do it. I loved him, but I wasn't IN LOVE with him; it just wasn't going to work.
In my opinion, A baby is not going to keep someone together and it not going to make them stay. In most cases,it runs them away, especially if they are not mature enough to handle the situation as well they are not mentally ready for what is forth coming. I think that if two people are not ready to get married, they should not for the sake of the child. I can use myself as an example. I was pregnat and I MOST DEFINITELY DID NOT WANT TO MARRY MY BABY DADDY!!!!You are absoultely right,you don't worry about what other think, I sure didn't and look how I turned out. :)
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